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Growing Should Be Scary: Moving Outside the Comfort Zone
You’re probably familiar with the term “comfort zone” – or at least with the feeling of being in it. Your comfort zone is where life feels nice and easy; it’s where you’re warm, cozy and relaxed – maybe even feeling a bit lazy.
But, though your comfort zone may be as welcoming and enveloping as a warm duvet, it’s not the place to grow. If you want to really progress in your life – whether that’s at school, at university or at work, or in your personal goals – you need to take a big step outside your comfort zone.
Feeling Nervous Is Good
Think about some of the things that are a bit scary for you. These are some popular ones:
- Public speaking (a greater fear than death for many people)
- Travelling to a foreign country
- Applying for a job
- Asking for a promotion or pay rise
- Starting your own business
What do all these things have in common? They’re all guarenteed to teach you something. That feeling of nerves is good – it’s pointing you towards things that will be a challenge for you.
Challenge Is How We Grow
Don’t be afraid of challenges: embrace them. Think back to your school days (or back to last week, if you’re still in school!) Did you learn anything in classes where the work was really easy, where you could do the homework in five minutes flat, and where pop quizzes were totally stress free?
How about those classes where you had to struggle to keep up; where new ideas and ways of thinking gave you a whole different angle on the world. Where you were challenged and pushed to your intellectual limits. How much did you learn there?
We grow and learn by being challenged, by finding our limits and pressing beyond them. When you exercise to build muscle, you improve by lifting weights until you can’t lift any more – not by lifting the easiest weights where you could carry out a hundred repetitions.
Don’t Be Afraid To Fail Or Quit
Many people shy away from challenges because they’re scared of failure. Don’t be: there’s no shame in failing, only in never trying. There’s no shame in quitting something that you find isn’t for you, either (but make sure you do push past that initial fear or discomfort).
If you have a lot of worries about failing, why not get over them by trying something (unimportant) that you know you’re fail at? You’ll still learn a lot in the process. Steve Pavlina advocates this in his post Are You A Failure Germaphobe:
You’ll run straight into your limits and become comfortable working butt-up against them, instead of lagging behind your untapped potential with a comfortable padding.
Adopt A Try Anything Once Attitude
If there’s something you’re scared of, or that you think won’t suit you, why not just try it once? This is something I advocate on my blog Alpha Student, encouraging readers to avoid having a knee-jerk reaction against trying new things.
Unless it’s illegal or immoral, give it a try. You might fail spectacularily, you might hate every minute of it … but you’ll still learn something. You’ll still grow.
Ali Hale runs the blog Alpha Student, where she writes for students who wants to get the most out of university life. You can grab the RSS feed here.
Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.
Really, one you come out of your parents shield life can turn 360 degrees.
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I really like this post, I can really relate to it, and I hate it.
Im afraid of failure soo much that I just don’t go for things I want because I don’t want to face faliure.
Really all this stuff, the changing is harder said than done.
Very nice and well said. Farrhad you gave us very important and useful information. Your ideas are brilliant.
@Logo Designer This post is by Ali Hale of http://www.alphastudent.com
Great article
My biggest fear is talking to a crowd
This is a really awesome article, Ali. I can understand and personally relate to everything in it.
Although, I wouldn’t be too scared or nervous when travelling to a foreign country or when opening a business.
the Blogoholics last blog post..How to Cloak Your Affiliate Links and Make More Money
Hey Far,
Nice guest post
I’ve really experienced the things mentioned in the post when I came to the hostel for the first time!
Hi Roshni
Swastiks last blog post..My first link love
Nice article Farrhad. Real life situation we faced (or will) sometime in our life.
Forsakens last blog post..Why .tel?
I think there is a fine line between being nervous/apprehensive and worrying/stress. Going too far can be counter productive and lead to poor performance rather than improved performance.
Same with the Blogoholic.
I’m not scared of #2 or #5.
When I speak infront of a crowd however, with no one I know, I get nervous as hell.
“Don’t Be Afraid To Fail Or Quit”. That one was the best I should say. Great post Farrhad
I’m not afraid of #2, and #5, though #1 really kills me. Just ask my friends.
I liked the point about not to be afraid to fail or quit. Perseverance is the key, but sadly not many realize that, and then just give up altogether.
Wongs last blog post..Ubuntu: part 4: improving performance
Lol I enjoy public speaking! And thats the exact reason why we enjoy blogging. Sharing info and ideas of coz..
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I preface this with… In My Opinion… because that may be all that it is… but life is about experiences,the good the bad and the outright ugly. The ones that we wish we could relive and those we wish had never happened. But in all they have made us what we are today… if someone doesn’t like a part of their life then seek an experience to change it. If you are going to fail, fail in a meteoric way because the other side of the coin is meteoric success. Life is about experience, about growth and realising we are only here once!
This was a great post! Challenges are what teach us the ways of life. For a long time, I was afraid to quit my job that I hated to pursue my own business. After awhile, I finally gave in and quit and I have never looked back.
Justin Wrights last blog post..One Last Look At My 2008 Goals
This is me I can relate to everything you say It’s so easy to stay In the safety of your comfort zone at school I was never one to push myself forward and volunteer for anything.Later In life I was told to do something that frightens me every day no matter how big or small, something I would not normally do .Usually success Is just outside your comfort zone.
I just turned 17, this post will really help me so I bookmarked it. Nice one, Ali
“We grow and learn by being challenged, by finding our limits and pressing beyond them.”
I quote this, and really agree about that. But sometime to much press on them will make me stress
I had to do this back when I played football (American) in my freshman year of high school. I was nervous at first, because it was my first year of high school and I was going into a sport with people i may have never met before. But it was totally worth it, and I think me being nervous all the time drove me to becoming a better football player.
I really like this post… Challenges are what teach us the ways of life.
Farrhad, you gave us very important and useful information. Your ideas are brilliant.
Keep up the good work
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I sure enjoyed the post about moving outside your comfort zone. Life is more exciting when we are outside our comfort zone. I remember my first speech in grade school. We called them oral reports. My presentation was on a book that I had completed. When I came to the end of the speech, I blanked out and ended it with “And then…”. I was so nervous that I just sat down at my desk. I dared not look at any of the other students.
Believe or not, I got an A on the speech. The teacher thought that my last comments were planned for suspense. She made this comment in front of the entire class. I kept the secret to myself.
This should be one of life changing post for many people out there.
People are to scared to loose, but they dont realized that loosing is other word for winning! Do you know any successfully person who was never defeated in life? No, I dont, neither should you, because he or she is lying right to your face..
Start failing start living!
travelling to another country is not scary, its fun !. lol, the scariest is the last one …
This post reminded me of when you ask girls out
Makes you really nervous, but if you think about it the worst they can say is no.
I love the feeling you get when you have nerves and then let them out. You just feel so releaved.
way to go Farrhad.. young as u are, u surely make sense than most adults i know. Almost all of us are afraid to fail, but this fear also becomes the driving force for us to do well.. and the only way to test it is by getting out of our comfort zone! Keep inspiring the youth and the young at hearts.
So anyone escaped comfort zone already? hahah…
It is definitely important to try to step outside your comfort zone, if you never do, you will never improve as a person, and who knows… if you step out of your outside comfort zone, you’re comfort zone might increase, and thats a good thing.
Till then,
Jean
Hahahaha
Nice one!